Anger Mangement

Anger is a valid, healthy emotion.
Anger is an emotion that can help set limits and boundaries in relationships.
Anger is a tool to help identify needs and wants.
Anger is powerful and needs to be used with respect.
When you know how to respond to your anger positively, you can tap into an unlimited source of personal power. This personal power can in turn enable you to speak for yourself and to learn to manage the fear of shame or criticism.
Anger Alternatives can show you how to work towards your wants without rage, violence, aggression, or controlling behaviors.
Did you know that...?

• An anger problem is any behavior caused by anger that hurts you or someone else
• Anger problems affect men and women of all ages, and from all walks of life.
• Anger problems come in many forms.
• Some people become indecisive or inactive when they feel their own or another persons anger. (Passive)
• Some people act out anger feelings by attacking, or trying to control. (Aggressive)
• Some people use addictions to avoid their feelings. (Dependant-Addicted)
• Some people become introverted and depressed.(Depressive)
• Some people use their anger to manipulate or manage others. (Passive-Aggressive)
• All anger problems are a form of control.
• When anger is “reacted” to, the anger is in control.

At Anger Alternatives, you can learn the tools to...

• Control anger related behavior
• Separate anger feelings from anger behaviors
• Identify anger sources
• Learn anger signals
• Stop anger from being in control.
• Accept and respect yourself
• Develop emotional literacy
• Release old shame and guilt.
• Break old patterns that don't work

• Stop reactionary behaviors
• Determine available support
• Improve interpersonal communication skills.
• Improve relationships with family, friends, and fellow employees.
• Re-establish credibility
• Establish limits and boundaries
• Take appropriate risks

Tips on how to respond to anger situations

Step Back and Breathe
Count to ten before you say or do anything and be mindful of your breathing. If you still don’t feel calm, count to ten again…and breathe.
Ask yourself:

• What am I angry about?
• What is hurting me?
• What is going on that is not ok for me?
• Did this person intend to hurt me?

When possible, remove yourself from the source of the stress and anger
Go for a walk or exercise. Moderate physical activity can be a productive outlet for your emotions. Besides releasing pent-up energy, your general physical feeling will improve.
Avoid emotionally charged and strenuous workouts, they can feed into the anger.
Imagine a calm relaxing scene.

• Remember a time when you felt at peace.
• Close your eyes, and travel back there.
• Allow yourself to be there for a while and feel yourself release.

Empathize with the other person.

• Try to see the situation from his or her point of view.
• Remember that there is always more than one way to see anything.

Write in a journal. Keep track of your anger:

• What did “I” get angry about?
• What did “I” do or say in response?
• How did “I” feel, physically and emotionally?

By identifying your sources of anger, you can learn to anticipate and respond to anger situations.
Use “I” statements when talking about the problem or situation instead of criticizing or blaming the other person. “I” am upset that the kitchen didn’t get cleaned after dinner,” instead of “Why is the kitchen still a mess?”, or “You should have cleaned it!”
Stop Brooding or Stewing. “Mind talk” is a major anger signal and one of the most destructive things you can do to yourself.

• Rage starts when you lose control of your own thoughts or feelings.
• You can control what you say.
• Talk to the person you have anger with.
• Share your feelings with a close friend or family member.