Communication Skills - Turning Pennies into Gold

How does the expression, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" apply to being an effective communicator? What do we give to our communication partners when we communicate well? We give two key gifts: our undivided attention and clarity of thought.

Only a Penny for Your Thoughts?
Perhaps you have heard the humorous question, "You 'put your two cents in', but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'. Where did that extra penny go?" When we value the messages we hear only half as much as the messages we deliver, our communication is not effective. That "penny" is truly lost.

An Effective Communication Channel

Effective communication is a two-way channel which (1) stays open, (2) receives equal value in both directions, and (3) has an interactive balance between sender and receiver. When we are in a communicative exchange without these requirements, it feels like giving two cents in exchange for one cent.

Undivided Attention

There is a big difference between talking, listening, and communicating. We do not talk "to" people when we communicate well; we talk "with" them. We give attention, listening with empathy and returning clear messages in the appropriate context.

In a verbal dialog, we have the roles of both listener and speaker. If we fail to look beneath the surface—to listen deeply with our eyes, ears, and hearts, we block the channel. We cannot respond meaningfully to messages we do not hear completely. We give undivided attention to our communication partner when we listen deeply.

Clarity of Thought
Likewise, if we fail to state our messages in a clear and simple way, we clutter the channel with static; no matter how much our partner wants to hear our messages, those messages with their intended meanings get lost. Clarity of thought allows us to deliver our messages clearly, simply, briefly, and in context. Then, our "two cents" turns from pennies into gold.

A Golden Communication Exercise

Think about a particular relationship--in your personal life or career--in which you want to communicate effectively. Then, complete these sentences in various ways that apply to you:

We seem to stop communicating effectively when________.

We seem to communicate very effectively when_________.

You may find it valuable to work on this together with your communication partner. This is a very revealing exercise. It will allow you to pinpoint behavioral and contextual strengths and weaknesses in your exchanges with a particular person or group.

Increase Your Communication Skills Today

Give your communication partners today the gifts of undivided attention and clarity of thought. You will find it is indeed "more blessed to give" when you communicate well. Best of all, you will find that your communication skills will double immediately. The gifts of undivided attention and clarity of thought will turn your communicative exchanges from "pennies into gold" and bring immeasurable value to your personal and professional relationships.